Take Care of my Girls
I’m about to tell one of the great coaching stories of all time. You’ll never hear women college soccer pundits mention her and there are no ESPN 30 for 30 documentaries highlighting her accomplishments. And for good reason: her head coaching career lasted a mere five seasons, two losing, one at 500 and two winning. Her final record was 46-43-4 – not the makings for an unforgettable legacy.
Nevertheless, what Sue Moynihan did for the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee’s (UWM) women’s soccer progam from 1992-96 is extraordinary. In my book and for the people with whom she interacted, her accomplishments are unrivaled and her legacy secure.
Sue was 25 when she was offered and accepted the head coach position at UWM. It wasn’t her dream job. She didn’t even particularly want the job. Coaching wasn’t necessarily her thing, though she never considered saying no.
After graduating from UW-Madison in 1990, Sue built up her coaching resume with appropriate gigs such as Disney World University and Marketing Program Associate (or something like that), door-to-door salesperson for Southwestern Educational Books (covered all things fishing and hunting I think), volunteer work at Milwaukee’s Career Cooperative, bookkeeper in the family business (Keeper Goals / Demand and Precision Tool Parts) and a prestigious high-profile position as Varsity Girl’s Assistant Coach at Sussex Hamilton High School.
As her resume clearly indicated, Sue wasn’t sure what career path to follow but she was prepared for anything – well almost anything.
In 1991, Laura Moynihan, Sue’s mom, Head Coach for UWM’s women’s team, was hospitalized with cancer shortly after coaching her first game. Sue, her brother John and an assistant named Eddie stepped in immediately and began coaching the team. At 25, Sue was the oldest on the staff – the so-called mature one – and by default the temporary head coach.
Love and filial duty aside, Sue, John and Eddie had a job to do, one they were perfectly unprepared to perform. After they lost to The University of Wisconsin- Madison 8-0 Sue was distraught; not only did they get walloped, John and Eddie wouldn’t stop talking about how bad they were. “You need to be positive!” she scolded them. This was often followed by asking them to write up and run practice because she was unsure of herself. In a blur of stress, insecurity, random tears and perseverance Sue led the team to 6-10-1 record.
In the spring of 1992, Laura died. Shortly after, Sue was offered the permanent head coach position. Did she want the job? Want, isn’t the right question. Was there ever any question she wouldn’t take it? No. Before Laura passed, she said to Sue, “Take care of my girls.” Despite her lack of coaching, administrating, player mentoring and fundraising experience and the myriad of opportunities awaiting a recently graduated 25-year-old woman, Sue honored her mom’s instructions and set about taking care of Laura’s girls.
She had big shoes to fill. Many players in the ’92 UWM recruiting class, including Maureen Moynihan, the youngest of Laura’s daughters, played for Laura during their youth careers. She wasn’t just their coach; she was their mentor – a second mother (or first in Maureen’s case). As I mentioned, massive shoes to fill.
The ’91 season was difficult, but it was temporary. ’92 was permanent. Sue set aside her insecurities and inhibitions and went to work. And when I say work, I mean all she did was work. No task was too big for Sue. And, as it turned out, no task too small. For example, if the players ordered sandwiches for the bus ride on an away game, Sue allowed them to customize their order – Molly wants turkey with one tomato, lettuce, no olives, extra mayo, and red onions; Heidi wants veggie, light on the mayo, extra tomatoes, oregano, green peppers, onions, extra olives… In my opinion, way above and beyond the call of duty. I would have told them, “Unless you’re allergic to olives you can scrape them off yourself!” Sue saw it differently; she was taking care of her mom’s girls.
In 1992, the team went 6-10-1 again. The record doesn’t show it, but the team improved. Sue was more comfortable in her role; the new players provided more skill and more competition. Sue still wasn’t sure she loved coaching, but she enjoyed helping the players and she did enjoy seeing progress.
While Sue had no intention of settling for average, her soccer budget was a hurdle. No, it was a moat. She had little funding for recruiting, assistant coaches, travel, and equipment. So she went overbudget. Getting scolded by her athletic director did not deter her. She merely schemed new ways to save money and make money.
Team members, who must have thought they had been transported back to grade school, were cajoled into selling candy bars and entertainment books. They performed juggle-a-thons for cash donations. Sue solicited companies and individuals, anyone with a checkbook. Sue’s greatest fundraiser, and this is a certifiable fact, was the Nestle Quick give-away. The sponsor provided Sue with a brightly decaled Nestle Quick van to deliver 100,000 packets of their newest hot chocolate drink – a perfect look for D1 head soccer coach. One might think giving away things would be easy. It wasn’t. People would say, “Sure I’ll try a packet.” Great only 99,999 more to get rid of. Nevertheless, Sue found a home for every one of those hot chocolate packets, probably earning around 20 cents/hour doing so. But her soccer budget grew, and Laura’s girls were being cared for.
In ’93 the team improved to 8-9-2. More progress. The team was playing better, scoring more and giving good teams a run for their money.
And Sue, day by day, was becoming a better coach, learning how to be a teacher of the game. The men’s coach at the time received his fair share of visits from Sue. “How would you play against a team that presses?” “What’s the best way to coach the final third?” Humility goes a long way in the learning process, and Sue had and has a reservoir of humility. She was a hustler in the best sense of the word. When she wasn’t coaching, evaluating and selecting players at UWM, she was doing it for Olympic Development Program in her spare time, becoming the State Director. She immersed herself in all thing’s soccer.
Every head coach needs good assistants. With John and Eddie gone after ’92 Sue needed replacements. But given the team’s miniscule budget, where was she going to find enthusiastic soccerholics willing to work for a pittance? She hired her brother Mike, fellow Wauwatosa native and UWM graduate David, and eventually this guy who kept showing up at her family’s house in the evenings – that’d be me.
In other words, I had a front row seat for this story I’m telling you. If you had asked me back then if something special and exceptional was happening, I probably would have said something like, “Yeah sure, let me go get a 12 pack of beer and a package of brats. Wait, what is it you asked?”
In other words, I was young and stupid and had no clue what Sue was dealing with. She was a young coach but so what – at least she was head coach. Was it odd that Sue paid me to paint her office? Never crossed my mind. Was it common for a college head coach to drive 1,000 miles in her own car on a recruiting trip to Colorado? Do recruits usually go to the coach’s dad’s house for dinner – if he likes to cook why not? Is it normal for a head coach to drive around in a Nestle Quick Van? Do most coaches tutor their players?
If you promised your mother you’d take care of her girls, you do all the above.
Sue dealt with problems directly. Early on, she threatened to fire her number one assistant who happened to be her younger brother Mike. She did so in the form of a long letter, which she left in Mike’s bedroom.
“What do you think?” she asked him after he had read it.
“I agree with what you said,” Mike responded, and the issue was resolved. That interaction would prove monumental for UWM soccer and the trajectory of both of their lives.
During the spring of ’94, I was living in the Moynihan’s living room after tearing my ACL. I needed a place to stay after my parents left for vacation the day after my surgery. I hope the weather was good mom and dad. At the Moynihan’s, Sue waited on me. Apparently, she had too much free time. About a week after surgery, Sue asked me if I’d attend a game with her to watch some potential recruits.
The game was at 7 PM and she was to pick me up, after work, at 6 PM. 6:00, 6:10, 6:15 came and went and still no Sue.
I was a bit worried, but mostly annoyed. Around 6:45, she finally arrived. She certainly didn’t seem in much of a hurry.
“You know the game’s at 7:00,” I said.
“I know.”
“It’ll take about 45 minutes to get there,” I reminded her.
“I’ll be ready in a second.”
A few days before I wrote this, I mentioned this incident to Sue.
“Do you remember what you said to me?” she asked.
“No, not really.”
“You said, you’re pathetic.”
I’d like to explain myself now, but how do you explain abject stupidity? Here I was basically being pampered by a woman with a plate full of responsibilities and I had the nerve to call her pathetic? What was wrong with me? She was the one who needed to go to the game, not me. Sometimes, I just hate my younger self.
In explaining why she was late, Sue also subtly pointed out her distaste for assholes who live in her house oblivious to the needs of anyone else. “Well I met with my athletic director today about the budget, then I tried to figure out how to make up a shortfall without having to give away hot chocolate packets, then I spent four hours doing individual trainings, then as I was getting ready to leave Tricia asked me to help her with her paper, so I did ‘cause I don’t want her to flunk out of school, and then Daisy came in and told me about her boyfriend issues – so sorry if I wasn’t here on time to take care of you!” Then she burst into tears and headed to the basement.
While I felt awful, I was too young to comprehend the level of stress Sue was under. Every day, she energetically and enthusiastically tackled the job her mom didn’t get a chance to finish. She employed a brother who was pursuing a career she never sought. She helped young women live out their college soccer dreams. And she put her dreams, whatever they might have been, on hold.
It was cold that evening, so I put on all the warm weather clothes I could find. This will make her laugh, I thought, as I crutched perilously down the stairs with oven mitts on my hands and a parka so thick and slick the crutches kept slipping out. I wore a scarf, goggles and a winter facemask. I approached Sue and meekly offered, “I’m ready to go,” hoping for a big laugh and the forgiveness it would imply.
“Okay, give me a moment,” she said indifferently.
Like I said, sometimes, I just hate my younger self.
In ’94 UWM went 12-7-1. Sue’s cross-country recruiting trips were paying off. She added two players from Colorado, a local star and a couple more from the Chicago area.
Why were they coming to UW? Why wouldn’t they? Sue was running a unique soccer program that offered a second family, cookouts at her father’s house, tutoring services, relationship therapy sessions and 24-hour access for help with any kind of problem a young woman might be experiencing. Oh, plus the team was getting better.
In ’95 UWM lost in the Horizon League Championship and earned their first positive result against UW Madison (a 1-1 tie). UWM Women’s soccer had officially become a legitimate program, a team to be feared.
In ’96, they went 11-8.
With five years of coaching under her belt, 1997 was promising to be the best season yet – the culmination of all her efforts.
Then right before the season started, she resigned. It was a calculated decision. Vintage Sue. She figured that with no time to conduct a head coach search, the AD would hire her brother Mike on an interim basis. They’d have a good season and consequently, Mike would be hired as the permanent head coach and have the career he sought. As for Sue, she accomplished what she set out to do; Laura’s girls, who were now Sue’s girls, were taken care of, as were a few coaches, siblings and friends along the way.
In 1997, with Mike as the Head Coach, and Sue acting as an assistant for a single season, the team won its first conference title and earned an NCAA tournament berth. Sue couldn’t have been happier – Laura must have been smiling.
Addendum: After a 10-year stint as assistant coach at Purdue University (helping the team to five NCAA tournament appearances), Sue left the coaching world and began working for her brother John, who now runs Keeper Goals. She lives in Salt Lake City, Utah and is married to University of Utah women’s soccer coach Rich Manning. Some seasons she’s officially the teams volunteer assistant coach, the other years she just gives advice.
Mike served as head coach and Dave as assistant at UWM for 15 seasons, amassing a record of 193-84-37. Today they coach at Northwestern University.
Eddie became a Sheriff and I write blog.
As for those girls who played for Laura and Sue, one said it best, “As teenagers, Laura Moynihan taught us all what it meant to live a purposeful life full of meaning. As young women entering the world, Sue Moynihan taught us what it meant to show up for all that life had to offer, with an open heart, an open mind and a smile.”
