Let's Talk Coaching

One thing we can agree on is that other club over there doesn’t develop players. You know the one I’m talking about; the one poaching everyone else’s best players. Those egomaniacs are the worst.

Have you watched her team play? The one coaching the 14 girls? Seriously, you call that soccer? Her team’s games look like a game of Marco Polo, but slower moving.

How about that clown they have coaching their 16’s? That guy’s never developed a single player. It’s just rah-rah, fight-fight, work-work. No skill at all.

And have you checked out Mr. Fancy Footwork and his team of Dribbelinos. No-one can think, but boy can they do a Scissors-Cruyff-Cut-V.

And have you seen so-and-so’s practices? The guy coaching their 12’s: boring! I mean, quit the yapping and let the kids play already.

That coach is new, but I heard her teams just boot it and fight for the ball.

He’s got no personality and wears his socks over his knees.

He speaks with an English accent, but he’s from Omaha.

He lives in his parents’ garage.

She has about 20 cats.

Gambling problem.

Narcissist.

Loser.

Dork.

Ass.

Eh.

X.

Our club’s curriculum guarantees success. In fact, our training model is so good our coaches don’t have to be good. Don’t get me wrong, our coaches are excellent; each equipped with elements of German, Italian, Brazilian, Argentinian, Ghanaian, Dutch and Spanish sensibilities – with just a hint of Uruguayan and dash of Croatian, just in case. But really, we’re humble. It’s not about us; it’s just the things we say and do are so transcendent, our players actually develop unlike the other clubs.

“Being brilliant is no great feat if you respect nothing.”

- John Wolfgang Von Goethe